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First let’s define the term anxiety: Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. However there are many different anxiety disorders and I have videos about most of them, so you can click through the playlist in the description for more info about specific ones like generalized anxiety disorder or panic disorder. Because anxiety can cause us to avoid certain situations that could make our anxiety worse or trigger a panic attack, we can avoid a lot of social situations or not engage in what could be considered normal activities (like not joining choir or an art group or playing sports, or even going to happy hour after work with our colleagues). It is my belief that because we can feel too scared to participate fully in our life we can in turn struggle to “grow up.” When we don’t grow up at the ages most people do we call that being developmentally arrested. There is much research supporting that BPD can lead to arrested development, as well as any sort of childhood trauma & intense substance abuse. When it comes to trauma I believe we can’t move on past that time until we process it through. So most often my patients will feel stuck or arrested at the age their abuse began. Also, I don’t want anyone to think that we have to grow up completely and lose our sense of childlike wonder or excitement. That’s not what I mean.. What I mean is that we emotionally and psychologically feel like we are growing up. Able to hold onto parts of our childhood that help or serve us and let go of those things that don’t.
In that same way, if life in many ways just feels like too much to us and we would prefer to not engage, we can get stuck and not “grow up” as quickly as those around us. Does that make sense? If you disagree I would love to hear your thoughts and why you think it’s happens in the comments below. But now let’s move onto how we can overcome it: 1. Resourcing 2. Building on healthy relationships (specifically with siblings to do fact checking) 3. CBT – using the downward arrow technique 4. Medication can help with anxious feelings if you are drowning in the symptoms 5. Processing through trauma (EMDR, talk therapy, trauma focused CBT, etc). Anxiety playlist:https://youtu.be/W9r5TmwTM_A?list=PL_loxoCVsWqzYEpSwo3dspzwjkZ46Wb5M
Repressed Memory Video: https://youtu.be/l72Q3xrFYh0
CBT therapy: https://youtu.be/g7B3n9jobusTry​ ​BetterHelp:​ http://tryonlinetherapy.com/katimorton
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I’m Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!CONTACT
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Santa Monica, CA 90403Help us caption & translate this video!https://amara.org/v/mnef/
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I MADE AN UPDATE ON HOW MY SOCIAL ANXIETY IS NOW, WATCH IT HERE – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAhF1wWg70g

VIDEO ON HOW TO HELP PEOPLE WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY – https://youtu.be/DBLznfuPDdQ

**please dont waste your time telling me im an attention whore, thanks. i’m not faking it and commenting that i am really isn’t going to help anything**
I was real hesitant to upload this video but I decided why not, maybe it’ll help someone out there. These are just things from my own struggle, I am not saying that I have it the worst, I know that there are people out there with way bigger problems.

Song used – Solstice (http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQKGLOK2FqmVgVwYferltKQ?feature=watch)

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In case you weren’t aware, Autism Spectrum Disorder (or ASD) affects 1 in every 68 children, and are much more commonly diagnosed in boys. Some studies show that boys are four times more likely than girls to have an ASD, but new research suggests that it may appear differently in girls, and therefore go undiagnosed or possibly be misdiagnosed as something entirely different.
The criteria for diagnosing autism spectrum disorder (ASD)—a developmental condition that is marked by social and communication difficulties and repetitive, inflexible patterns of behavior—are based on data derived almost entirely from studies of boys. This lack of data surrounding how ASD may affect a female has lead to years of misunderstanding and misdiagnosis, especially for those girls on the higher functioning end of the spectrum. Research has shown that females who received a diagnosis of ASD at a very young age were much more affected by the ASD than their male counterparts. They showed lower IQs and extreme behavioral problems, whereas the boys who were diagnosed did not have to be so severe to get proper treatment.
In a very recent study (2016) they found that even the way that the brain processes social information is different based on the sex of the child. Boys with ASD use certain portions of their brain to manage social situations, and those regions are different than boys without ASD, so seeing those parts of their brain light up during a social interaction was an easy way to diagnose. However, in girls with ASD it’s not like that. In a girl with ASDs brain, it lights up in the same way that a non ASD boy’s would.
Why is that? We don’t know, and they are doing follow up research on this interesting finding right now, but this has already been supported by a completely different study conducted in Australia on 25 boys with ASD and 25 girls with ASD. Researchers believe that this occurs because of our sex hormones. We already know that men and women are very different, but maybe we don’t fully understand just HOW different we are.
They also believe that girls as much better at noticing and mimicking behavior, and will work really hard to appear completely “normal.” Therefore in order to properly diagnose a girl with ASD you will need to not just observe them, but also talk with them about their personal experience with socializing or managing change.
They also find that boys with autism are not really interested in socializing and when asked will report that they don’t really care if they have any friends. Girls on the other hand, do care, and show a much greater desire to connect.
They also found that girls with ASD don’t tend to have as much repetitive behavior as the boys, and many of their pastimes and interests are similar to other girls without ASD.
Last, they share that girls with ASD tend to be viewed as too much. Meaning they are often too intense, too sensitive, or too rigid.
Many girls have been diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, and even anorexia instead of ASD like they should have been. Anorexia in the female ASD population is much higher than non ASD girls, and they believe that many of the symptoms and profiles of the 2 diagnosis work together. Meaning that the rigidity, focus, and detail oriented nature of both ASD and eating disorders can mean that EDs are the way that ASD can show itself in the female population.
They also find that females with ASD (since they tend to take things literally and are direct) they can more easily fall victim to sexual exploitation (such as assault, abusive relationships, etc). They say this especially for females because just as we discussed earlier, they want connection, and are aware of their their struggle to make friends and build relationships. So they may be with someone just because they show them a little attention, or even if that attention isn’t kind or loving. So be careful.
RESOURCES:
Kansas City – program is called “Girls Night Out”
New York City – Felicity House
BPD Video: https://youtu.be/zPopjuKuweg
OCD Video: https://youtu.be/xlqvwMTqzHY
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I have launched a new tool to help you journal & stay motivated. I know getting started on our path to self care can be hard and sometimes sticking with it can be even more difficult. That’s why I created this tool! I’ll be sending you messages twice a week, and my hope is that this can help get you thinking and writing more easily, or possibly take your journaling in a new and helpful direction.
Let’s get started: https://create.getpurple.io/p/katimorton/CONTACT
Business email: linnea@toneymedia.com Mail:
PO Box #665
1223 Wilshire Blvd.
Santa Monica, CA 90403

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Hey everybody! Happy Thursday, now today’s question is all about making friends when we have social anxiety. But before we jump into that, are you new to my channel? Welcome! I am a licensed therapist creating educational mental health videos, and I release them on Mondays and on Thursdays, so make sure you are subscribed and have your notifications turned on so that you don’t miss out.
This week’s question is: Hey Kati, how does someone make friends when they are over 30 and have social anxiety? I always hear of advice about joining groups or clubs, but that just feels impossible to me. But I do want to socialize more and make friends, help!
I thought this was a great question, and although I have talked about how we can make friends as an adult, I haven’t addressed the very important issue in this question, what if we have social anxiety. Now for those of you who don’t know social anxiety disorder otherwise known as social phobia is diagnosed when we experience fear of anxiety about one or more social situations in which we worry we could be judged or scrutinized by others. This could be if we have to give a speech in front of the people we work with, or even if we have to eat in front of other people. We must also fear that we will act in a way or show anxiety symptoms that will be negatively evaluated by others. Social situations almost always provoke fear or anxiety, we avoid social situations as much as we can, and our anxiety or fear is out of proportion to the actual threat posed by the even. Meaning that even though the fear and anxiety is very real and warranted to us, if we had to explain it to someone else they wouldn’t understand why we were so worried or anxious. Does that make sense? And our social anxiety must be persistent lasting for 6 months or more, and as always, it must impair our ability to function in our lives. So that’s how social anxiety is diagnosed based on what the DSM which is the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders. Now I know it’s not the end all be all of things, but it does ensure we are all talking about the same thing when we say social anxiety…Links I mentioned:Anxiety Playlist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9r5TmwTM_A&list=PL_loxoCVsWqzYEpSwo3dspzwjkZ46Wb5MMaking New Friends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWxqj2a0V6s&t=13sAnxiety Workbook
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiDk5O_s8fhAhVIs54KHcEcCDoQFjABegQIAxAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fitunes.apple.com%2Fus%2Fbook%2Fanxiety-workbook%2Fid1271456527%3Fmt%3D11&usg=AOvVaw0TOmCrSLITnjBySrvH93glMy Book
Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULyTry​ ​BetterHelp
http://tryonlinetherapy.com/katimorton
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People who fall into the high functioning portion of the spectrum often live lives just like anyone else who’s not on the spectrum. They are said to be higher functioning cognitively than others on the spectrum.
SYMPTOMS:
Just like anyone on the Autism Spectrum high functioning people can still struggle with communication, making eye contact, and socially interact overall. Since interacting with others can be so difficult, those who are high functioning often report feeling very anxious prior to a social gathering, and being wiped out afterward because it takes SO much energy to engage with others.
Anxiety, OCD, bipolar disorder & depression are the most common comorbidities with HFA, and research shows that OCD and HFA commonly occur together because they both are affected by any abnormalities in a person’s serotonin production. Based on that information we could conclude that all comorbidities can be caused and affected by serotonin changes. I also believe that because people with HFA are more aware of their differences from others they could feel anxious about interacting with people or even depressed about their struggle to connect. Sometimes having insight and awareness into our own conditions can be hard to handle, and could lead to other mental health issues.
People with HFA may struggle to understand jokes, or sarcasm from their peers. Therefore they can appear “mature for their age” but they are really just uncomfortable in social situations. They can have delayed initial speech, but later develop functional communication. They can have obsessive actions regarding appearance, cleanliness, fears and social situations, and also shortened attention spans.

TREATMENTS: ASD isn’t something that people grow out of, nor is it something that needs to be cured, but there are many supports:
1. Occupational therapy OT: an occupational therapist is there to help develop skills for handwriting, fine motor skills, and activities of daily living skills. 2. Speech therapy: a speech therapist helps your child learn spoken language and/or nonverbal communication skills.
3. ABA therapy: applied behavior analysis focuses on techniques that help guide learning and bring out meaningful and positive change in behavior. 4. Psychotherapy: psychotherapy uses a variety of techniques to help children who experience anxiety, depression, OCD, or other psychiatric systems that cause problems for the autistic child. 5. Floor time therapy: floor time activities derive from the idea that we as parents can help our children by meeting them on their level to expand circles of communication. 6. RDI therapy: relationship development intervention therapy is a family-based, behavioral treatment designed to address autism’s core symptoms by appreciating all perspectives, coping with change and integrating information from multiple sources such as light and sound.
7. PEC therapy: picture exchange communication is used with nonverbal autistic children to learn to communicate without words so that they can make choices and communicate their needs and minimize their behaviors so that they can be a much happier child.
8. Aquatic therapy: using swimming as therapy increases the effectiveness of all other forms of treatment by learning better balance, communication skills, sensory issues, and oral motor skills.

Other videos I watched this weekend:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl-DjiO8das

If you want to add translations, click the gear icon and go to Subtitles/CC then to Add subtitles or CC!

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Do you want to help support the creation of mental health videos? https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/

JOURNALING & MOTIVATION TEXT SERVICE
I have launched a new tool to help you journal & stay motivated. I know getting started on our path to self-care can be hard and sometimes sticking with it can be even more difficult. That’s why I created this tool! I’ll be sending you messages twice a week, and my hope is that this can help get you thinking and writing more easily, or possibly take your journaling in a new and helpful direction.
Let’s get started: https://create.getpurple.io/p/katimorton/

I’m Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!

CONTACT
Business email: linnea@toneymedia.com

Mail:
PO Box #665
1223 Wilshire Blvd.
Santa Monica, CA 90403

WORKBOOKS
Please visit the Itunes Bookstore and Search “Kati Morton”. My Ibooks include exclusive videos and worksheets to help you on your path to wellness.

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Dustin is diagnosed with autism and developmental delays. He hopes people will take the time to have a conversation with him about lightning and chainsaws.

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Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. When we talk about social anxiety, that worry or nervousness is focused primarily on social interactions.
Anxiety is made up of 3 different components: The physiological part, cognitive part, and behavioral part.
Physiological Part: This is how anxiety feels in your body. The racing heart, sweaty palms, flushed face, or feeling faint. This is one of the most important components of anxiety because it’s the first one that people notice.
Cognitive Part: Our thoughts or thought processes. Any anxious thoughts we have would fall into this category. Such as “I am going to make a fool or myself” or “they will just think I am boring.” Any prediction that comes out of our anxiety would be considered part of the cognitive part.
Behavioral Part: For something to be part of this component it needs to be something someone else could notice us doing. This could be not making eye contact, stuttering or even fidgeting. This could also be something we aren’t doing because we are avoiding it, but someone could still notice that we didn’t go to lunch with the team like everyone else. Therefore avoiding something because of our anxiety would still fall under this category.
Most people with social anxiety don’t just experience one component. In fact, these 3 parts usually work together to intensify our anxious episodes.

Therefore in order to overcome our social anxiety we are going to have to fight back against all 3 of them! The first step is Systematic Graduated Exposure. Which is honestly just a fancy way of saying that we are going to have to slowly expose ourselves to the scary or anxiety provoking thing until it’s no longer so scary.

I have talked about exposure therapy in the past, and this is very similar, however, this is specific to social anxiety and it’s treatment. It’s important that this type of exposure therapy be done with a mental health professional so that we can role play different scenarios in session, and get feedback on how it went. It also allows us to play out any situations or circumstances that we are afraid will happen when we try to do this outside of therapy.

It also works because it gives you the time you need to see that any of the bodily responses you are having to the anxiety will go away after awhile. As long as we are able to stay in the anxiety-provoking situation we can realize that our feelings of anxiety only last for a bit. And the more we practice it and expose ourselves to the anxious experiences, the better it gets. Also, by role-playing an anxiety-provoking social situation, we can test out any of our dysfunctional beliefs.

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Music I was listening to while editing:

JOURNALING & MOTIVATION TEXT SERVICE
I have launched a new tool to help you journal & stay motivated. I know getting started on our path to self-care can be hard and sometimes sticking with it can be even more difficult. That’s why I created this tool! I’ll be sending you messages twice a week, and my hope is that this can help get you thinking and writing more easily, or possibly take your journaling in a new and helpful direction!
Let’s get started: https://create.getpurple.io/p/katimorton/

I’m Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!

Help us caption & translate this video!

https://amara.org/v/h0tC/ ****PLEASE READ****
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.
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